First Person Singular:
Living a life of addiction

FlipSide illustration by ALEX BOYLES/Poca High School

Editor’s note: The author’s name and school have been withheld due to the sensitive nature of this article.

Being addicted to something is one of the worst things in the world. Your whole life revolves around that one thing. You feel like you can’t live without it and that you will go crazy if you don’t get it.

There are many things that people are addicted to, including nicotine, heroin, cocaine, marijuana and even caffeine. Some people don’t even realize that they are addicted, or they are in denial about it. Addiction is a serious disease for which people need treatment and help.

I am an addict myself. I was addicted to opiates, a classification of drugs that includes pain pills, which is what I was using. I used to use pain pills every day, several times a day.

There are many different types of opiates, including Lorcet, Percocet, Vicodin and Norco, which are the brand names. Most people get the generic for those drugs, though, which include Hydrocodone, Oxycodone, Roxicet, and Endocet.

I have done all of these. In a week, I would use at least 200 pain pills. I felt like I had to have them. If I didn’t, I was really miserable and did not get along with anyone. This was the main reason that my family and I argued a lot.

When I would wake up in the morning, I would have to have some pills to snort or I couldn’t do anything. I would get really sick and my whole body would hurt, which is why I made sure I had them at all times.

Making sure that I had pain pills led me to a lot of the crimes that I committed. I would rob people’s houses and sell the stuff to get drugs. I would get in fights for them. I would even steal them from my family.

I got caught several times, but I still could not get myself to quit. It was like the pills took over my entire life. Every waking hour was spent doing pills, getting them or being mad because I didn’t have them. Life was miserable.

By the time I realized that I was messing up really badly and my life was going nowhere, it was too late. I was already in trouble, and I couldn’t get out of it. Everyone had already given me too many chances, and it was time they cracked down on me. I was 17 with numerous felonies on my record, and they finally locked me up.

That was when reality hit. I had to leave my family and everyone I loved, which was awful. I think that if I hadn’t started using these drugs, most of the things I did wouldn’t have happened. I definitely would not have been locked up.

I really regret the hurtful things that I did, but I will never be able to take them back. I have realized that I need to quit and make something of myself. Now, I plan to stay sober, live right and try to regain people’s trust and my good reputation.