First Person Singular: An unexpected blessing

By Olivia Jones
Cabell Midland High School

At age 16, I can easily identify various experiences, moments and people that have had a significant impact on my life. However, one incident from seventh grade remains especially vivid in my mind, and it is undoubtedly something that thousands of other students have also experienced: bullying.

At the time it happened, I felt like the rest of my life would be full of humiliation. But with the help of my mother, who I learned was my true best friend, I endured the pain of knowing that someone hated me. And in time, I found that this seemingly horrific event was actually a blessing in disguise.

Seventh grade started out the same as any other year: I got a new set of teachers and classes, reacquainted myself with friends I hadn’t seen over the summer and settled back into the school routine. At the end of the semester, though, the year took a turn for the worse.

One day at the end of school, a girl blatantly and rather explicitly told me that she whole-heartedly hated me. This bewildered me, for I had never had anyone openly tell me that she found me horrid.

Soon after this, rumors started circulating about her wanting to beat me up. She began following me around, taunting me and even harassing me on the Internet. My family had taught me never to fight except in self-defense, so I simply walked away each time.

Mentally exhausted from the harassment, I told my mother what was happening at school. Shifting into protective mode, she immediately wanted to contact the bully’s mother and try to resolve the matter. But afraid of more embarrassment, I convinced her to wait and see if it would resolve itself.

Eventually, my parents did contact the principal, which led to the girl being questioned and, of course, denying that anything had happened. After a month or two, she got bored with me and sought her vicious form of entertainment elsewhere, leaving me wounded and timid the remainder of the year.

More than three years have gone by since that seventh grade catastrophe, and I still think back on it frequently. I use it not only as a guideline for how to treat others but also for how to treat myself. I learned three life-changing things from the ordeal.

First, I learned that independence can make you happier than following the crowd. Most of my so-called friends turned against me when the bully, who happened to be popular, decided to not like me. This taught me that I do not always have to rely on other people to help me. I learned when making decisions to think about what my family would think of me and how my conscience would feel before considering what my peers would think.

Second, I learned to be more respectful of others. Just because someone is not in the same clique as me does not mean that I have to judge them.

Finally, I learned to accept the fact that some people may never want me as a friend. By accepting that, I resolved to make new friends who accept my quirky characteristics and are willing to stand by me.

The bullying I endured in the seventh grade has shaped the relationships I have with my friends today. I now feel more independent and less required to adhere to what is “cool” or “popular.”

Letting people place me in a box and allowing them to humiliate and control me is not the way I desire to live. This instance still reminds me to respect my classmates’ differences and look beyond the exterior to the true person inside.