When siblings fly the coop

LAUREN OYLER/Hurricane

By Cat Higgins
Charleston Catholic High School

The house is quiet, and there is an empty seat at the dinner table. Quarrels between siblings are few to none. There is something - or rather somebody — missing. It’s an older sibling who’s fled the nest, gone off to college.

For parents and siblings facing Empty Nest Syndrome, this can leave them in a state of shock or confusion - no matter how prepared they believe they are.

“When my brother first went off to college, my mom was really upset because he wasn’t around anymore,” said Charleston Catholic junior Marie Cavalier.

Empty Nest Syndrome can be especially bad for teens when the oldest sibling leaves for the first time. The first few weeks are the hardest because everyone has to get used to somebody not being there.

“The first day after Rob left, my mom made a cake for a teacher luncheon,” said Charleston Catholic sophomore Stephen Gresham. “I got home and she left a piece. I cut the piece in half thinking, ‘Alright, I’ll just leave that for Rob. He’ll get mad if I don’t.’”

It wasn’t until after Gresham had eaten his piece and left the room that he realized his brother, a freshman at the University of Tennessee, wouldn’t be there to eat the piece of cake he had left.

Empty Nest Syndrome does have its positives. Think about it: no fighting over who gets to shower first, no writing your name on food you’re planning to eat later, no performing stealthy ninja moves to steal the TV remote, no waiting for the computer or telephone.

It seems almost perfect - but not so fast. There’s a downside to having your sibling out of the house.

“I don’t have anybody to talk to about school that has already been through it,” Cavalier said. “And I miss having him to joke around with.”

“Once your brother or sister leaves for college, in some weird way, you actually get closer to them,” said CCHS sophomore Deena Hossino, whose brother is a sophomore at Radford University.

“When Omar was at home,” she continued, “we wouldn’t get along that well, and we would get annoyed with each other.

“When he’s in college, I forget all about the times when we didn’t get along, so when we get a chance to talk, we do — and we never argue. It’s just so nice to hear from him.”

And just because your sibling is off at college, it doesn’t mean that you’ll never see him or her again. There are always holiday breaks and weekend visits when they’ll come home to hang out.

When this happens, take the opportunity to do something special. Plan a dinner for your family or a trip to the mall or movies with just you and your sibling. Even if you’re just sitting at home watching TV, use the time to catch up. Chances are, at some point during their hectic, crazy college life, your sibling’s thought about you and missed having you around.