Capital High student triumphs over depression

By Michael Ramsburg
Capital High School

Meet Capital High School freshman Jane Lane (not her real name), a bright-eyed, black-haired girl who, when observed at first glance, appears to be like any other teen-ager.

To meet her on the street, one might view her quick-witted humor as a refreshing break from life’s complexities.

“I try to find humor in everything,” she said. “I laugh everything off now.”

Notice her use of the word “now.” It implies the present tense and shows that it wasn’t always this way for her.

A peek at Lane’s poetry reveals that she has suffered from depression. One of her poems reads, “You think you know me, but you do not/You don’t know the first thing about me.”

Problems loom

Lane believes her depression started with problems at both home and school. Before she was diagnosed, she and her family had moved from their Kanawha City home to a new one in Cross Lanes.

“My dad decided to move me from where I had lived all my life,” she said.

As with most moves, a change of schools was required. Lane now had to go to Andrew Jackson Middle School. She said she believes this is where her problems began.

“I didn’t like any one,” she recalled. “Everyone acted so preppy.”

Lane said her fellow students did not like her, either. As a result, she made few friends. The people she hung out with involved her in many illegal activities.

In addition to the difficulties she faced at school, she said situations developed on the home front that added to her depressive state.

“My brother’s girlfriend wanted him to move in with her,” she said. Lane’s parents disapproved of the move.

As tensions mounted within her family, she felt helpless. She admitted to being a bit angry with her parents and thought they had had enough of each other. “I wanted my parents to get divorced,” she said.

Eventually, Lane was taken to a psychiatrist, who diagnosed her with clinical depression. The problems that followed provided enough pain to decompose anyone’s self-worth.

Into the abyss

Lane’s depressive state caused her to do things that she would later regret. She said she contemplated suicide, got involved in selling drugs and participated in sexual activities. Once, she tried to kill herself by slitting her wrists.

“I didn’t care about the pain,” she said, noting that she had been through enough pain in life to endure a “little” sting to the wrist.

By following instructions from one of her “friends,” Lane began cutting her wrists. Luckily, she failed. The outcome of the ordeal left her with one nasty scar. “See,” she said, smiling an embarrassed smile as she exposed the permanent reminder.

During her depression, she said she often shrieked when angry. “I kept freaking,” she remembered. “I would scream and yell.”

Life proved to be agonizing. With the help of some positive influences, however, she gained the ability to overcome depression.

Climb to recovery

Lane kept a journal in which she recorded her thoughts and feelings through poetry. She credited poetry as one medium that helped her regain her sensibilities.

“Writing in my journal really helped,” she said.

Another positive influence in Lane’s life was her friends. “I had a few people who understood. They really helped.”

Through poetry, friends and counselors, Lane finally gained control of herself. She now lives a more comfortable, happy life, with a few bumps now and then.