Things may be bad now, but look ahead to an all-right life

By Mike Huff
Nitro High School

I’m writing this is response to an article in the March issue of FlipSide Magazine titled “There are plenty of reasons why people commit suicide” by Melissa Miller of Poca High School. It should have been titled — or at least subtitled — “Why you should commit suicide.”

When I saw the article, the headline did not jump out at me. I thought it would be interesting to read about, though, because I had never heard of a logical reason to kill one’s self. To this day, even after reading Miller’s article, I still haven’t. She emphasized family situations, stress levels and lacking confidence. To these I ever so modestly and warm-heartedly contend: “And?”

How many teens are forced into divorce situations, anyway? Lots. What if we all let a divorce destroy our lives? What if we all just killed ourselves because of the terrible things in our lives?

My parents are divorced, and I’m not going to kill myself over it. This is something parents do, and there’s nothing that any of us can do to help or prevent it. Even if the divorce were blamed on the kids, why would a rational, living soul allow herself to be destroyed by harsh words from an otherwise desperate parent, who may or may not feel it is his mandate to say that the teen was, in fact, at fault for the entire divorce? This is our parents’ loss, not ours.

I don’t mean to sound heartless. I don’t mean to sound uncaring. But we still have a chance to make an all-right life.

I know how it sucks to grow up without a mom. I know what it’s like to have sisters move out and brothers stay home. I have felt the divide created by parents splitting up. But I am still alive.

Another thing Miller misaddressed was low self-esteem and stress levels. Someone get me a dictionary. What does the word teen imply? Low self-esteem and stress.

Of course, there is going to be an exception to the rule. There are going to be several kids in every bunch who can’t handle the stress of everyday life. They don’t feel like they can. It’s a terrible feeling, like a total lack of control. And some kids may not be able to pull through.

But that doesn’t mean others should use this as a convenient excuse to advertise the need for self-pity. Just because you don’t feel confident about your mind or your stomach or your legs or your arms today doesn’t mean you won’t in 10 years. Don’t tell me it isn’t worth waiting for, because what else do we have?

We don’t have any choice but to grin and bear it, to listen to a CD and try to calm down, to call a friend and try to explain, or, in the very worst case, ride the bus to Kanawha City and commit ourselves to Highland Hospital.

A certain aspect of melancholy is found attached to almost all cases involving suicide, and often melancholia creates a disposition of stoicism, which is to say people who get depressed often could not care less what happens to them or those around them. It is no longer a question of getting better, but rather, a question of how to end the pain the fastest.

So, in conclusion, I’ll try to answer a few of Miller’s questions. What would make me kill myself? I would kill myself if a situation around me got so terrible that I felt there would never be any hope. I would kill myself if I knew there was never going to be another figurative sunrise in my life. I would kill myself if I killed another person on purpose.

But all of this is OK, because “Hope springs eternal in the human breast,” as Pope so eloquently put it. The sun is always going to rise tomorrow morning. And I will never kill another person on purpose.

Someday you will be a grandfather or grandmother watching your children walking with their families. You will experience far more pain than what you have now (or maybe not), but it will only make you stronger. And you will come out on top. This pain is all so irrelevant — not to you, but to your future.

There is another level of living, a level that does not so much involve religion as it does acceptance. You have to learn to accept what you have. This is not something you can just turn on or off. This is not something that you will realize tomorrow when you watch the sun come up (and yes, it will come up).

But maybe in 10 years, maybe in 20 years when you live in New York City with your husband or wife, maybe you will grasp hold of what it really means to be alive. Maybe you will understand why you should embellish and wash yourself in every given moment you have on this green earth.

I don’t want to sound like a flower. But as Thoreau said, “This thing called Time is just the stream I go a’ fishin’ in ... and I will suck the marrow out of life.”

I’m not here to tell anyone what to do or how to think. I know the world sucks for a lot of people. I know a lot of people don’t have it as good as I do. But I am willing to talk to any of you about it. Anybody who feels totally alone or who feels like discussing any of this with me can write to me in care of FlipSide at flipside@wvgazette.com.

If it gets bad, don’t kill yourself. Write me an e-mail.